Every year, without fail, there is at least one parent who feels that his/her student athlete is the epitome of sports and therefore must be released from any responsibility to grades. It's amazing, really! Last year, a mother called a week into summer break to ask me to reconsider her son's final 4th quarter grade because the F he got would prohibit him from getting into the military! I said, "Wow, I'm sorry he made that poor, life-changing choice." The year before that, a father called me after school on the last day of school to ask me to reconsider his son's grade so his son could play football that fall. The kid ended up going to a different school that didn't have a football team. On both accounts, I relented and did these parents/students special favors against my value system. Why is it so hard for me to do that? Because every other student/parent won't ask for special favors! Everyone else obeys the rules and accepts the consequences of their choices. Everyone else wouldn't dare place extra burden on a teacher because of the dishonor of their student's poor choices!
Today, my class was interrupted by a mother who had been in to butter me up a month ago about her fabulous daughter who should be excused for not showing up to class because she works out at 5:00 a.m. . . . . And her daughter is fabulously talented in sports and academically, but why should that automatically qualify her for special treatment?
So the mother asks me to leave my class and to step into the hallway for her special issue. I asked, "Right now? I'm teaching a class."
"Oh, this will just take a minute," she confidently says. Then she goes on to tell me that her daughter is currently receiving an F in my class for missing assignments done in class the other day; but, she declares, this should be excused because she was on a Biology trip." That's all fine and dandy, but she had all of yesterday to collect her missing work, but did the girl or mother show up to get it then? No. I told the woman that I would talk to my supervisor about this. She didn't like my answer because her daughter was scheduled to play varsity today. How is that my problem? Ok, I should be a nice gal and roll over, sure. But since this was the second time I'd seen this mother in a month, I have officially labeled her pushy and nosy. All I can think of when I meet people like this is, "Why should everyone else be subject to my policies and rules, but you should not?"
She pushed the matter three times, to which my response was that I would talk about it with my supervisor. When I finally did talk to the assistant principal, she backed up the mother vehemently and cited district policy. She said that the student has three days to make up the work. I asked our basketball coach about what he thought about the situation and he said that it's the student's job to get the work done before game day so things like this don't happen. He always puts the responsibility back on the athlete so the students can learn how to speak for themselves and follow through with assignments. He also said he didn't have any respect for parents who barge in and demand things for their students.
As a mother myself, when I see an injustice placed upon my child, I am vocal, too, so I took the zero off of the grading website so it wouldn't block the student's ability to play today. As a teacher, this wasn't an injustice, just lack of planning on the kid's part. I hope I don't see this parent again this year because I don't think she has a right to walk the halls freely like she does. She mentioned the first time she spoke with me that she knew the secretaries well, and that they treat her "very nicely." Who says that?
Anyway, my assistant principal always says that it is better to err on the side of the student, even if it makes me angry. I remember that this is a time for students to learn responsibility and that mess ups are a part of it. I realize that parents are there to help guide their kids and I should help them out, too. But dang! If I were a professor in college, I for sure wouldn't talk to any parents by that time in the kid's life!
