Every year, without fail, there is at least one parent who feels that his/her student athlete is the epitome of sports and therefore must be released from any responsibility to grades. It's amazing, really! Last year, a mother called a week into summer break to ask me to reconsider her son's final 4th quarter grade because the F he got would prohibit him from getting into the military! I said, "Wow, I'm sorry he made that poor, life-changing choice." The year before that, a father called me after school on the last day of school to ask me to reconsider his son's grade so his son could play football that fall. The kid ended up going to a different school that didn't have a football team. On both accounts, I relented and did these parents/students special favors against my value system. Why is it so hard for me to do that? Because every other student/parent won't ask for special favors! Everyone else obeys the rules and accepts the consequences of their choices. Everyone else wouldn't dare place extra burden on a teacher because of the dishonor of their student's poor choices!
Today, my class was interrupted by a mother who had been in to butter me up a month ago about her fabulous daughter who should be excused for not showing up to class because she works out at 5:00 a.m. . . . . And her daughter is fabulously talented in sports and academically, but why should that automatically qualify her for special treatment?
So the mother asks me to leave my class and to step into the hallway for her special issue. I asked, "Right now? I'm teaching a class."
"Oh, this will just take a minute," she confidently says. Then she goes on to tell me that her daughter is currently receiving an F in my class for missing assignments done in class the other day; but, she declares, this should be excused because she was on a Biology trip." That's all fine and dandy, but she had all of yesterday to collect her missing work, but did the girl or mother show up to get it then? No. I told the woman that I would talk to my supervisor about this. She didn't like my answer because her daughter was scheduled to play varsity today. How is that my problem? Ok, I should be a nice gal and roll over, sure. But since this was the second time I'd seen this mother in a month, I have officially labeled her pushy and nosy. All I can think of when I meet people like this is, "Why should everyone else be subject to my policies and rules, but you should not?"
She pushed the matter three times, to which my response was that I would talk about it with my supervisor. When I finally did talk to the assistant principal, she backed up the mother vehemently and cited district policy. She said that the student has three days to make up the work. I asked our basketball coach about what he thought about the situation and he said that it's the student's job to get the work done before game day so things like this don't happen. He always puts the responsibility back on the athlete so the students can learn how to speak for themselves and follow through with assignments. He also said he didn't have any respect for parents who barge in and demand things for their students.
As a mother myself, when I see an injustice placed upon my child, I am vocal, too, so I took the zero off of the grading website so it wouldn't block the student's ability to play today. As a teacher, this wasn't an injustice, just lack of planning on the kid's part. I hope I don't see this parent again this year because I don't think she has a right to walk the halls freely like she does. She mentioned the first time she spoke with me that she knew the secretaries well, and that they treat her "very nicely." Who says that?
Anyway, my assistant principal always says that it is better to err on the side of the student, even if it makes me angry. I remember that this is a time for students to learn responsibility and that mess ups are a part of it. I realize that parents are there to help guide their kids and I should help them out, too. But dang! If I were a professor in college, I for sure wouldn't talk to any parents by that time in the kid's life!
Teacher Talk
Friday, March 21, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Slaying The Jabberwockie
What is the point of having school rules when no one follows them?
It's amazing, really. I grew up like any normal American kid who was taught to stand in line and wait my turn to go down the slide. I was taught not to force my way to the front of the lunch line because others had been waiting patiently before I got there. I deemed these two ideas logical and chose to obey them according to fairness. Not only because of fairness, bu rules should be followed to allow for equality to thrive. Granted, there are those times when an emergency demands that certain rules be broken; but when one person purposefully breaks a rule that has been agreed upon by a whole group, then the boundaries become insignificant. Another result is that the group is snubbed by the offender and structure for fair dealing is lost. The offender places himself/herself above the group who was following the rules to promote equality and fairness.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not going all Ayn Rand on you. Individuality and individual rights also have their place in society. However, schools are public areas for common use and funds are limited. I would love to have my own set of computers so students could rotate through them as needed to complete assignments. That's just not possible with today's funding limitations for education. When people are placed in public situations where sharing is required, rules need to be followed so equal sharing of resources can take place. To overstep those boundaries without regard to those who are working within the rules is to snumb one's nose at other people's value.
So what should be done with little infractions like these? Generally, the offended person moves on without creating a conflict and the guilty person continues to break the rule without repercussion. "Choose your battles," I hear frequently. But I was never sure what that exactly meant. After seeking to bring to justice every offender in my life who has crossed me wrongly, I realize now that the saying means to fight the battles that are most important in life. Again, my child-like mind considers that every battle is important if it brings the offender to justice! In public settings, though, the group as a whole must be considered first over the individual's needs. That's not to say that the individual is denied what they need. This just means that everyone must take a turn when dealing with public property or resources so that everyone may enjoy the benefits therefrom.
Enter! the computer lab sign-up sheet. The sheet used to be located in the school librarian's office. At the beginning of this year, however, she conveniently posted the sheet to a document that can be shared online to every teacher, counselor and administrator in the building. All we have to do is go into the shared document on Google Drive and sign up for a slot in one of four computer labs in the school. The rule is, of course, that no one has the right to erase a sign-up slot for their own purposes. (Basically, it's first-come, first-serve.) But who would really do that unless they really wanted a hailstorm of trouble? No. Instead of that, a teacher or counselor simply sneaks into the computer lab at the very first minute of the class period and takes over the lab. Then, the teacher who first signed up is taken aback when s/he enters with the rightfully assigned class. The signed-up teacher looks like the fool, but meekly protests, "I signed up for the lab this hour." Rather than exit meekly, the offender will say something along the lines of, "Oh, I didn't know," or "I'll just be a minute," or "Oh, you don't mind. I only have a few students."
If sharing can be accomplished without difficulty between class goals, then fine. Sharing is a great idea! However, the students are usually distracted by each other and find ways to steer off course because student/teacher dynamics have just shifted to "questionable" rather than in the regularly "maintained" status. Students are shown that by adult example, being inconsiderate is acceptable and the class is now a party time to talk and not do the work. Another problem with sharing the computer lab with another teacher is that class instruction communicated by one teacher interrupts the other class and distraction resurfaces.
In order to show respect for others, if a teacher or counselor needs to use a computer lab but cannot find one open for their needs, it wouldn't be too difficult to talk to a teacher who has already signed up and negotiate a sharing experience or to trade days. Lack of preparation and caring generally block this respectful attempt, though, and the selfishness continues while the one who followed the rules is looked down on as the "mean" one or a witch. It's really confusing to be taught to follow and to accept rules as a child for the sole purpose of becoming a good adult only to grow up and discover that adults don't actually follow the rules they place on others.
The mindset of today, too, is that the customer is always right. Thanks, Walmart! Today students are taught entitlement. A student, like a customer, is never wrong! No! It's the teacher's fault if the child fails at school or fails to follow the rules. Case in point--every year for the past three years, a father of a football player calls me on the last day of the school year to find out why his son failed my class. The reason these fathers call is that they want to save their sons' fall football standings, not because they are worried about whether or not the year's lessons were properly learned. In all of these cases with football players, I had tried to contact the boys or the parents during the quarter to let them know of the failing grade, but with no response. Then, all of a sudden, I'm supposed to drop my summer to let the student make up assignments that were given back in March! Oh how the football scenario brings up a hundred other issues that could be debated at once!
So what did I do? In each case, with a breath of disgust in my voice, I permitted the offender to win. In order to avoid a longer, more dramatic and senseless dispute, I surrendered and gave them what they wanted. I don't consider myself "the better person" in these situations, either, because I didn't walked away without animosity. These people knew I was upset with what they had chosen to do, so I wasn't any better than they were in the situation, just more justified. But these things really make me wonder why I stay in education. Then I rethink it and decide that people are people no matter where you go. If it isn't a complaining parent, it's a complaining client and I can't avoid working altogether. So like Alice, I'll keep waking up each day praying for peace and slaying the Jabberwockie.
It's amazing, really. I grew up like any normal American kid who was taught to stand in line and wait my turn to go down the slide. I was taught not to force my way to the front of the lunch line because others had been waiting patiently before I got there. I deemed these two ideas logical and chose to obey them according to fairness. Not only because of fairness, bu rules should be followed to allow for equality to thrive. Granted, there are those times when an emergency demands that certain rules be broken; but when one person purposefully breaks a rule that has been agreed upon by a whole group, then the boundaries become insignificant. Another result is that the group is snubbed by the offender and structure for fair dealing is lost. The offender places himself/herself above the group who was following the rules to promote equality and fairness.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not going all Ayn Rand on you. Individuality and individual rights also have their place in society. However, schools are public areas for common use and funds are limited. I would love to have my own set of computers so students could rotate through them as needed to complete assignments. That's just not possible with today's funding limitations for education. When people are placed in public situations where sharing is required, rules need to be followed so equal sharing of resources can take place. To overstep those boundaries without regard to those who are working within the rules is to snumb one's nose at other people's value.
So what should be done with little infractions like these? Generally, the offended person moves on without creating a conflict and the guilty person continues to break the rule without repercussion. "Choose your battles," I hear frequently. But I was never sure what that exactly meant. After seeking to bring to justice every offender in my life who has crossed me wrongly, I realize now that the saying means to fight the battles that are most important in life. Again, my child-like mind considers that every battle is important if it brings the offender to justice! In public settings, though, the group as a whole must be considered first over the individual's needs. That's not to say that the individual is denied what they need. This just means that everyone must take a turn when dealing with public property or resources so that everyone may enjoy the benefits therefrom.
Enter! the computer lab sign-up sheet. The sheet used to be located in the school librarian's office. At the beginning of this year, however, she conveniently posted the sheet to a document that can be shared online to every teacher, counselor and administrator in the building. All we have to do is go into the shared document on Google Drive and sign up for a slot in one of four computer labs in the school. The rule is, of course, that no one has the right to erase a sign-up slot for their own purposes. (Basically, it's first-come, first-serve.) But who would really do that unless they really wanted a hailstorm of trouble? No. Instead of that, a teacher or counselor simply sneaks into the computer lab at the very first minute of the class period and takes over the lab. Then, the teacher who first signed up is taken aback when s/he enters with the rightfully assigned class. The signed-up teacher looks like the fool, but meekly protests, "I signed up for the lab this hour." Rather than exit meekly, the offender will say something along the lines of, "Oh, I didn't know," or "I'll just be a minute," or "Oh, you don't mind. I only have a few students."
If sharing can be accomplished without difficulty between class goals, then fine. Sharing is a great idea! However, the students are usually distracted by each other and find ways to steer off course because student/teacher dynamics have just shifted to "questionable" rather than in the regularly "maintained" status. Students are shown that by adult example, being inconsiderate is acceptable and the class is now a party time to talk and not do the work. Another problem with sharing the computer lab with another teacher is that class instruction communicated by one teacher interrupts the other class and distraction resurfaces.
In order to show respect for others, if a teacher or counselor needs to use a computer lab but cannot find one open for their needs, it wouldn't be too difficult to talk to a teacher who has already signed up and negotiate a sharing experience or to trade days. Lack of preparation and caring generally block this respectful attempt, though, and the selfishness continues while the one who followed the rules is looked down on as the "mean" one or a witch. It's really confusing to be taught to follow and to accept rules as a child for the sole purpose of becoming a good adult only to grow up and discover that adults don't actually follow the rules they place on others.
The mindset of today, too, is that the customer is always right. Thanks, Walmart! Today students are taught entitlement. A student, like a customer, is never wrong! No! It's the teacher's fault if the child fails at school or fails to follow the rules. Case in point--every year for the past three years, a father of a football player calls me on the last day of the school year to find out why his son failed my class. The reason these fathers call is that they want to save their sons' fall football standings, not because they are worried about whether or not the year's lessons were properly learned. In all of these cases with football players, I had tried to contact the boys or the parents during the quarter to let them know of the failing grade, but with no response. Then, all of a sudden, I'm supposed to drop my summer to let the student make up assignments that were given back in March! Oh how the football scenario brings up a hundred other issues that could be debated at once!
So what did I do? In each case, with a breath of disgust in my voice, I permitted the offender to win. In order to avoid a longer, more dramatic and senseless dispute, I surrendered and gave them what they wanted. I don't consider myself "the better person" in these situations, either, because I didn't walked away without animosity. These people knew I was upset with what they had chosen to do, so I wasn't any better than they were in the situation, just more justified. But these things really make me wonder why I stay in education. Then I rethink it and decide that people are people no matter where you go. If it isn't a complaining parent, it's a complaining client and I can't avoid working altogether. So like Alice, I'll keep waking up each day praying for peace and slaying the Jabberwockie.
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